remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
