i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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