Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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