Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
