I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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