Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
