I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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