I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
