Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
