At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
