brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
