yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there was a trapeze. enough said
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
