He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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