Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
