I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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