Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
