Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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