why didn't you poke me back
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
