Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
