White coat. Heels.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
