a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
