I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
can u get pink eye on your cock?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
