I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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