He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize