I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
