I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
