Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
