I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
