It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
