He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
