for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
