WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize