happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
vagina is talking i cant
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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