Only a mothe r could love this liver
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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