Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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