i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
