i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
