Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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