Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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