Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
