just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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