Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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