So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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