She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
