her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
