PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
