I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
