What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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