what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
