He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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