New invention idea: vibrating tampons
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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