I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
