ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
