Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
