Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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