He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
honey bunches of taint.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
