the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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