You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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