Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
