I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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